Sexism in education and amongst teachers

= What is sexism? What is a sexist story or joke? =

Background
This page got created when the author was member of a teachers WhatsApp group where teachers shared sexist stories and quotes and jokes. They felt that it was acceptable behaviour and confused sexism with sex. It is absolutely important that teachers have ZERO TOLERANCE FOR SEXISM. Sexist teachers believe men and women are different in nature and have different roles in society. Consequently, they are likely to discriminate between boy and girl students in their own classrooms and act in gender unjust ways. They may explicitly assign different roles/activities to boys and girls (like assigning physically strenous activities to boys and 'homely/domestic' activities to girls). Such gender stereotyping will certainly affect the aspirations and self esteem of girl students and must be completely avoided by teachers

What is a sexist story
A sexist story or joke is one which is based on a belief that men and women are different, they have different characters/traits/behaviors and act divergently.

For instance in the story on “bribing priest on marriage vows” the man is shown as needing to be promiscuous (wanting relationships with women other than his wife) and hence bribing the priest to not make him vow loyalty. Whereas the woman is shown as seeking loyalty from the husband and hence bribing the priest to make the man vow loyalty. The joke here is premised on the opposite traits of the man and woman – men can ‘stray’ but women cannot. This creates an environment where women's 'honour' is used to subject women and their mobility to maximum restraint, while men's straying is looked at indulgently.

In the story of the wife shooting the horse, the joke was really about how women are mysterious and dangerous (pulling out a gun and shooting and telling the man that he is two steps away from being shot) – suggesting lack of rationality, while men are expressed to be rational.

In the story of the man choosing a woman with big buttocks as wife, it was physical objectification of women – women are chosen for their physical appearance as that is their primary plus point (whereas it may be intelligence or wealth for men).

In the story where the husband throws the fridge on his wife’s lover, the underlying thinking is - the wife will be at home and the husband will go to work.

And of course 'wife as a nag' is a common stereotype, meaning wife will not be rational and argue on basis of reason, but will simply keep insisting/persuading till she has her way. This is quite disrespectful of women

- xxx

Wherever the story or joke is based on attributing different characteristics to men and women (husband and wife), it is sexism. Sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on one's gender. We ascribe certain traits, roles to men and other traits and roles to women. Men are strong, brave, assertive, outgoing while women are gentle, submissive, hard-working etc.

'''Sexism is ascribing different roles to men and women on the basis of their sex, hence the word "sexism". Just like casteism term is based on caste discrimination and racism term is based on race discrimination.'''

All these differences in ascribing in the stories are completely sociological (we people have created these differences by our beliefs – this difference is termed ‘gender’). They have absolutely NO biological or factual basis. The only known and accepted biological difference between men and women is that women can bear children and nurse them which men cannot do (this difference is termed as ‘sex’). Otherwise, there is nothing that men can do that women cannot and vice versa. This sociological process of discriminating between men and women on the basis of gender is sexism. References – https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-is-sexism#what-sexism-is (gives the basic distinction between sex and gender as well).

So what is harmful about sexism?
Ascribing certain characteristics and traits to women makes it easier for us to push women and girls into certain roles - such as the ‘gentle/sweet/great wife’ who provides free/unpaid labor for her husband and family. For instance in many if not most households, including of teachers in the group, we will see the woman work in the kitchen to produce food while the man is watching TV or reading a newspaper in the hall. This is actually an exploitative relationship (see the brilliant movie - The Great Indian Kitchen).

In more civilized societies, men and women will both work together in the kitchen and will relax watching TV together. Creating the stereotypes of women, makes it easier to push women into continuous, often dreary, unpaid (or low paid) labor. And men into roles with more power. Unpaid cooking daily is by the wife at home. Highly paid cooking jobs of Chefs in hotels go largely to men. Women are persuaded to do double duty – work in the office/school and do most of the household work. India is particularly bad.

By creating stereotypes about women, we mock at them. Stereotypes are NOT FACTUAL. And they promote certain ways of thinking about women that is harmful to their dignity. Women do not get jobs, do not get promoted, are not taken seriously in meetings etc. (I am sure every woman in this group has faced such situations at home, work place and elsewhere), and sexist jokes have a role to play in persuading us that women are not equal to men, we need not take them seriously etc…

"India ranks 120 among 131 countries in female workforce participation, according to the World Bank’s 2017 India Development Report. Another report by McKinsey & Co on the advancing of women’s equality in the Asia-Pacific region, tells us clearly why just around 25 percent of India’s workforce is female, and only five percent make it to the top.

Even beliefs that seem to be supportive of women, like believing women are honest, gentle, caring is sexism which is harmful.

Sexism is rampant
According to a 2020 report by the United Nations Development Program, “91 percent of men and 86 percent of women show at least one clear bias against gender equality in areas such as politics, economic, education, intimate partner violence, and women’s reproductive rights.

Why is sexism completely unacceptable for teachers?
Sexism is wrong for any human being.

But since teachers work with young minds and shape their identity, it would be much more harmful if teachers practice sexism.der.

If a teacher believes men and women are different (and hence have divergent ideas/thinking/beliefs/attributes), he/she will likely believe the same for boys and girls. Boys can shift benches, play physical sports, stay late in school. Girls can make tea for visitors, sweep the floor and premises, and hand over bouquets to visitors… such biased treatment of students (all these are common examples), makes boys and girls think they are different from each other and persuades them to think of themselves, their aspirations differently. Girls are less likely to study in colleges, specially when these require travel, are married much earlier than boys, have less choice in deciding when to have children, or how many children to have. Sexist teachers are likely to treat their boy and girl students in differential/discriminatory manner owing to their underlying thinking about men and women being different/playing different social roles.

Such gender unjust socialization is likely to happen at many homes, but sexist teachers will also be contributing to such practices in school. Whereas schools and teachers have a duty to actively counter sexism so that girls can dream to achieve all things that boys dream.

How come some women teachers support sexist stories?
Sexism is not a simple “men oppress women” issue. It is based on the ideology (mindset) of patriarchy, which persuades people to think men are superior to women. And this ideology can affect women as well, so you can have women discriminate against other women/make them suffer when they themselves have internalized patriarchy. (hence the mother-in-law oppressing daughter-in-law phenomenon – the mother-in-law has internalized patriarchy). Women need to reflect on the influence of patriarchy in their own lives and take active steps to reduce and eradicate its influence steadily, One important way is to discuss discrimination and ways to address it, in the classroom itself.

When sexist behavior is seen, teachers need to support one another in criticizing it and not feel any need to be sympathetic to the perpetrator.

Wife as a nag
Last August our neighbour Kumar bought a car, my wife woke me from sleep saying - 'Is he not a man like you? Or is he from another planet? You have to do just as  he has done? "You too must buy a car" She ordered me. You know! I was forced to buy a Car.

After four months, the same neighbour bought a piece of land, and my wife disturbed me until I also bought one. One month ago, the neighbour started constructing his house on the land he purchased. As usual, she did not leave me in peace until I also purchased.

Now, yesterday evening our neighbour  brought in a second wife... "Pls I need your help... Do I have to wait for the usual pressure from my wife, or just take action???"

Analysis
The 'women as nag' stereotype is particularly very harmful. Women who are articulate find that if they argue with men, they are often dismissed as being a nag. This characterisation not only prevents men from getting the benefit of the women's wisdom, but also shuts up the women, which can be quite upsetting. This kind of thinking prevents women from playing their rightful role in any discussion/meeting/event etc. Women who are articulate (speak well) are often shut up by men/man by using this 'dont nag' kind of response... it can be 'dont whine', 'dont keep arguing' .. etc kind of remarks also.

Mysterious (irrational) women
My wife and I never fought for 10 years of our marriage... A friend asked me how I had managed to make it possible...

I narrated, "We went for our Honeymoon in Rajasthan 10 years ago, and while riding on a horse, My wife's horse jumped and my wife fell down.She got up, patted the horse's back and said,"This is your first time". After a while it happened again. She patted the horse again and said, "This is your second time"

The horse did it again the 3rd time; She brought out a gun and shot the horse dead. I was so shocked and shouted at her - "Are you crazy? What's wrong with you? Why did you kill the horse? She smiled at me and said, "This is your first time".

Since then. . My Mouth remains shut.

Mother is best / knows best / cares best.
After his father's death, the Son decided to leave his mother at old age home and visited her on and off. Once he received a call from old age home....Mom very serious ..... please come to visit. Son went and saw mom very critical, on her dying bed. He asked: Mom what can I do for you.

Mom replied... "Please install fans in the old age home, there are none.... Also put a fridge for betterment of food because many times I slept without food".

Son was surprised and asked: mom, while you were here you never complained, now you have few hours left and you are telling me all this, why? Mom replied....."it's OK dear, I've managed with the heat, hunger & pain, but when your children will send you here, I am afraid you will not be able to manage

"Truth" - Truth no 1 : '''Nobody is real in this world except Mother.. No one can replace mother in this world'''

Analysis

 * 1) Mother stereotyping is common in India, and we need to conisder its huge costs on women's aspirations and choices.
 * 2) No doubt mothers love their children. But fathers also do. And we can see children who do not have mothers being taken care off well by fathers. So it seems that there may really not be much biological justification to think mothers have to love their children more than their fathers.
 * 3) Secondly, if we do believe in gender equality, then all responsibilities of the home must be divided equally - this includes both cooking/care work as well as child care.
 * 4) What the 'mother is best/ only mother can care most' kind of thinking does is, it puts TREMENDOUS PRESSURE on women post childbirth. They have to do most of the child care and their husbands can focus on their career/ work etc. Post pregnancy/childbirth/ initial child care period, many women find it very difficult to resume their work lives. (This is much more a problem for private sector employees, government employees maybe can join back where they left, after 6 month maternity leave).
 * 5) This kind of Mother is best thinking also makes it more difficult for girls to get jobs... in the interview, the interviewer may think - if  I hire this young woman, she will marry, have children and not be able to give as much time and attention to the job. So let me hire this young man instead.
 * 6) On the same lines, motherhood is supposed by patriarchal folks to be the most important aspiration for women. So women who do not have children or do not want to have children are looked down upon...  In North India 'Baanj' बांझ (baren woman) is used as an insult, do not know about the South.
 * 7) Is this just and  fair?  As teachers, we have a moral role to play. What would we desire for a just society? Basicaly our biases can be quite harmful and we need to be aware of them

Men are promiscuous and women are loyal
Before the wedding the man bribed the priest 5 lakhs and requested him to not include "I will be faithful to my wife" in the vows. But the priest included this in the vow during the wedding. He returned the 5 lakhs, adding 25,000 and said that the women had bribed him 10 lakhs to make sure he included this lien in the vows.

Sexist quotations
Sexist quotations often fictiotiously ascribed to famous people, seek to find fun in some imagined trait of women. Some examples shared in a teachers group below:

Analysis
==== While getting married, most of the guys say to girl's parents, " I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life ". Have you ever heard a girl saying something like this to the boy's parents like I will keep your son happy for the rest of his life. Nooooo ... because women don't tell lies! ====